May 2006 Archives

out the car window-LA

This weekend was good- busy but really good. Have I mentioned that I really, really like downtown Santa Ana. In the same block you have the fruit man, who cuts up fresh fruit adds a little chili and lemon (mmm my favorite yo), artist lofts that have walkthroughs once a month, signs in spanish and english. Its a blend of small city and the center of a suburb. We had dinner at the Gypsy Den which is just so good and they have the best coconut cake.

While walking through the area, I noticed an empty storefront next to an art therapy for children center. It would be a perfect place for a socially conscious boutique. A place where the art changed once a month, socially conscious and handmade wares were sold and where young people could hang out and listen to music and chill with some beverages. This is my current dream. One that I am actually pretty serious about. Nothing would be better than having it in the center of Santa Ana. i wonder if its a viable option?

Chicago

My computer is broken- literally messed up- so my posting may be few and far between- just to warn ya. Here is a little meme that has been traveling around the blog community that I thought I would do.

I AM: "Whatever you say I am. If I wasn't then why would you say I am" Alright, Eminem lyrics aside, I am an artist, a music lover, a daughter, a sister and a caregiver.

I WANT: to be able to open up my own business in a couple of years.

I WISH: I could work part time and paint every day.

I HATE: racism, classism, sexism. Apparently I hate lots of isms in general.

I MISS: my dad, my grandma, and countless others that have passed away.

I HEAR: everything. You know I am up when the radio is turned on. I have a serious music obsession. I have a turntable, iPod, steroe and clock radio that all get used regularly.

I WONDER: where my life will take me.

I REGRET: not going to art school. I often think that I would have had a very different life. Not necessarily better- just different.

I AM NOT: one to mask my true feelings. I have never mastered a poker face and you can clearly tell what I am thinking by my actions or face. I also have a problem with blurting out too much truth. Ehhh...

I DANCE: all the time. We have a little thing called "dancing time (say it with a sharp DAAAAYYYAANNNCING) in my house. Spotaneous dancing is always good for the soul.

I SING: in the car, the shower, outside... all over the place

I CRY: while watching movies. I think I cry at movies more than real life stuff. Sad thing is that I especially cry at Disney movies.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: patient. When I have stuff to do there is only one pace- mine- and that means fast.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: art. I paint, I craft, I am always customizing something that I got from the store.

I WRITE: on this blog a little bit and I have countless idea books where I draw and then write out steps and instructions. Oh, and have I mentioned the countless lists that I write every day.

I CONFUSE: people sometimes. I am shy and quiet and loud and opinionated all in the same breath. I am a jumble of juxtopositions that I am sure makes people's heads hurt sometimes.

I NEED: a hero. Just playing- its just a song. I told you I was music obsessed. I need more time in a day so I can do all the stuff I want to do like paint, clean the garage so it can be a studio for me.

I SHOULD: exercise but damn, do I hate it. I should just make myself- apparently I am not always a good self-motivator.

I START: lots of projects. I am the queen of good ideas and starting projects only to flit to something else more exciting as I change my mind.

I FINISH: most things especially if they are really important or if they are for someone else besides me.

Chi town

While we were in Chicago the conversation turned to all of the negativity that my cousins and I grew up with. Its funny how kids have the innate ability to make the best of things. You make excuses for people and why they treat you the way they do. You think to yourself- "Oh I was bad, I should try harder." If you think about it, you get very little explanation or understanding as to why things are happening as children. This happens mostly out of the guise that you are too young to understand. Looking back, I think its worse to be in the dark with what is going on. All you know is that scary things are happening and you have to develop defense mechanisms to combat them- which is where my sarcasm came from.

Sorry if I am a little psychological today (it was my major you know). I was just thinking how amazingly resilient children are. You figure you just got to do what you got to do and just keep moving because there is no other option. And then one day you hear these stories pouring out of someone's mouth and realize that these stories are not just tales- they were your life. And then you wonder how in the heck did you get through that crap. But that's life. Getting through the crappy bits to get to the good stuff.

Thinking back reminds me of how much my cousins and my sister and I rock. We survived all that crap and are doing well. Two have graduated from college. My sister has a 4.0 in her junior year of college. One of us is going into college next year and the other is doing extremely well for herself. We did it- we survived our childhood...

Sunset at O'Hare Airport

What I am listening to: Stadium Arcaduim- The Red Hot Chili Peppers- I am a big fan of the Chili Peppers- especially the video for Dani California- all those musical icons (Bowie, The Cure, Jimi Hendrix)

What I am reading: Rip It Up And Start Again- Postpunk 1978-1984- Simon Reynolds

What I am watching: Can't Buy Me Love- old school Patrick Dempsey is funny

What I am eating: an orange

What I am drinking: chammomile tea out of my beehouse teapot- I love this thing

What I am thinking: about making the anti-scrapbook- something really with scraps and its about time that I head up to Amoeba

Ah yes, the graduate...

We were in Chicago this weekend for my cousin Emilie's graduation from Loyola of Chicago. So Congrats to Emilie- she did it- all by herself.

We didn't stay in Chicago long- but we all had a really good time. Whenever I am in big cities I am reminded of how much I enjoy the noise, the pace and the public transportation. Its like being in a giant ball of energy. I feed off places like that. So much creative energy. I want to go back to Chicago and be a real tourist one of these days.

I want you to know that I have never pulled the girl card. I have never said that I can't do something simply because I am a woman. In fact, I like lifting things and doing stuff myself. But this evening when Lauren and I were moving my dad's truck, sad to say, but dang I would have loved if someone would have come running. It could of been man, woman or child. I would have accepted their help because dang is my dad's truck a beast. I'm talking a 91 Ford F-150 that I swear is about 2.5 tons. So if you ever see my pushing a huge truck- come on now- stop on by and help a little.

I was in Chicago this weekend for my cousin's graduation from Loyola of Chicago- I hope to post some pictures this week.

Nasturtiums

Technically, summer time begins with Memorial Day. It starts with the heat getting a little intense and with BBQs and people outside. But for me, I know Summer has arrived when I hear Sublime on a really warm day with my truck windows down and I develop a crush on someone. It must be summer already. Warm Day- check. Sublime pumping out the truck speakers- check. A crush- a mini-one but still a crush- check. Lets call the crush Sara. I don't really know her name because I didn't talk to her really. But she works at Old Navy and happens to have many tattoos including a horseshoe on her forearm. And the girl had a bandana tied around her head. Thats it for me.

Bella in the corner- super close in case you couldn't tell

This Weekend:

What we ate: (prepare yourself its a long list)- shrimp, scallop and tilapia ceviche, stuffed mushrooms, chicken & beef kabobs with traditional and jalapeno chimichurri sauce, spicy shrimp, grilled corn with tarragon lime butter and queso freso, and grilled pound cake with Mexican chocolate, mango and berries with rum whipped cream.

What I dreamt: Ted Danson was caught in an orca's mouth because he tried to convince me that orcas could do tricks without being trained. (Yeah I am not sure what that is all about- but its weird, I know)

- Alas no RING OF FIRE this weekend. But I am sure it will get done soon.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY Y'all.....

See, I knew my sister was coming. I knew she would be here soon and that the room that my grandma used as a partial store room would have to be cleaned out. But what did I do instead of cleaning it? I tried on red lipstick and sheer sparkly green eyeshadow- the eyeshadow I liked and the lipstick, well I am really not used to it. Dark lipstick ( I used to wear the cholo brick red in junior high and sometimes high school) kinda of scares me now- my lips look weird and unsymmetrical. I watched Gilmore Girls and listened to music. I made vegetable soup. I played with Jazz and came up with more ideas for purses.

As a result of all of this procrastination, I now have to clean the room this weekend. Easier said than done. This weekend is Mother's Day and I have decided to do a BBQ for my mom. I am being quite ambitious as I am going to try out some new recipes from a book called Latin Chic. And my cousin Benny is coming over to do the "RING OF FIRE." I am hoping that I get everything done this weekend.

Things that I am feeling lately:

- Fudgicles- man I love me some popsicles
- Painting- obvious yes
-Music- Wolfmother, Jack's Mannequin, Blue October, Gnarls Barkley, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Gloria Jones- her Tainted Love makes me so happy, Arctic Monkeys, The Subways
- the video for Dani California from the Red Hot Chili Peppers- I love it when they dress up like old school Bowie
- Domino magazine- I love seeing cool stuff for your house
- My new fisheye camera that is going to get a lot of use this summer
- My sister will be home late tonight
- Netflix
- Prince movies that are horribly bad
-Promises of trips to Venice, Santa Monica, Chicago, Puerto Nuevo Mexico, San Diego etc
- My room is almost perfect- which is just so hard to do
- Its almost summer

Heart purse

Love clutch

Brahma bull purse

Here are three more purses that I have painted recently. So far I haven't painted a purse that I don't like. I really want to keep them all but that defeats the whole sell them for profit thing. But I am thinking that I want to call the purses names of movies or songs. For example the Love purse could be Love Stinks or Love in an Elevator. The brahma bull purse could be The Red Bull- you know from the Last Unicorn cartoon movie. Tell me you have seen that movie.

succulent

This weekend was long. Not long in a good way- just too long. Sometimes you realize just how much you treasure your immediate family- and after this long weekend I really do. I am actually looking forward to work because I know that in a couple of days, my sister will be here. I can't wait. We were talking the other day on how we may end up being those old sisters that never married and live with each other. We decided that it would be fine with us if thats the way it turned out. Sounds like good times- for reals...

Courtesy of Lauren

Remember how when you were little, bath time was fun time. Well it was for me at least. You brought out the plastic toys and the fruity smelling bubble bath and poured in way too much. But that was part of the plan because who really wants a tub full of lackluster suds. Its got to be full of out of control foam. Thats what I did last night. After work and the two grocery stores, the cooking, the cleaning and the organizing- it was bath time. I don't think I have taken a bath in a year or so. I realize now that quick showers are for chumps, yo. Late night baths are where its at. Put on some kickass music- depending on your mood- and try it tonight. Guaranteed to be your new forgotten favorite thing.

Nopales con tunas

Every morning I wake up to a jumping dog and open the sliding glass doors so that she can go out. And I remember that things are different now. Trivial things that when put together equal emptiness. Dumb things like I eat standing up around the sink area and that I worry about the plants because I don't have you with the magical green thumb to take care of them. I grocery shop alone and wonder aloud. Jazz is home alone now probably wondering where the little lady who yelled all the time is. And when I get home- there is silence. No smell of simmering guavas or tomatoes or pomegrantes. There is no loud clanking in the morning or big barrels of flour waiting to be made into tortillas. No signature you-isms.

I keep Jazz's food in your room- I can't remember why. But when I go in your room I breathe in real deep and look at your bed with the bed skirt that was so important to you and smile softly cause I miss you. And then I close the door and remember where you are. I'll see you after awhile. A long while- but after awhile...

And one more question grandma, what do you do with the tunas on the nopales again?

sign by my house

What I am listening to: Gnarl's Barkley- makes you cry its just that good (Forget what Amazon says about it being available on May 9th- you can get it on iTunes right now)

What I am watching: Graffitti Bridge- horrible but apparently I will watch anything with Prince in it- I'm sick I know

What I am reading: Please Kill Me- still cause I lost it for a minute

What I am thinking: I am glad that my brother doesn't have to have surgery and how many funerals have I been to in these past couple of years. My step-dad's step-dad passed away yesterday.

What I am doing: painting my shelf for the 3rd time (the white had to go) and drawing a brahma bull to put on a gold clutch- you know you want it.

Protest at the Civic Center in Santa Ana

The stores and streets were empty as I drove into Santa Ana and before I could see the people I could see the American flags flying high. I took yesterday off in solidarity for immigrant rights. I am not going to rant on and on about immigrant rights on my blog. I have decided that I would rather not go there. But at the protest yesterday I saw the best sign. It said in English and Spanish- "DIGNITY FOR THE WORKING CLASS." And that's exactly it. You may say that people shouldn't be here and that they are breaking the law. But remember this- whatever the government decides, they should know that these immigrants are just that, people. And all people, whether here legally or if they speak English or not, have dignity. We should respect that and treat them as such. As of right now, my country's attitude towards others embarrasses me.