Just Take It, Take Another Little Piece of My Heart Now, Baby...

mural off the 101 fwy, LA

My grandma's eyes light up when she talks about school and it makes me feel a little guilty. She treasured school and got good grades when she was there. She has showed me her report cards and they all have glowing praise for her- except for the semesters that she was gone picking. My grandma and her small family would pick fruit and nuts seasonally and as a result she missed a lot of the school.

She is really very smart and could have gone further if she had been selfish- but when her dad asked her to quit school at ninth grade she did so without complaining- because she was a good catholic mexican girl. She did what was expected of her and she took care of everyone first, got married and then took care of everything for her husband and kids.

With her telling me these things, I see myself as she does. I see a girl who has so many oportunities, who is educated, who is equal in a world full of racism and sexism. And those thoughts empower me because when I think of the blatantly racist and sexist world that we live in- I don't always feel so equal. I feel like an outsider, a girl on the fringe, but one that dares to call out inequalities. To my grandma its amazing that I dare to raise my voice, that I look the world in the eye and that I expect more. She did what she was told and I do what I say (most of the time that is- within reason of course). I refuse to settle. And that my friends is a HUGE leap for the women in my family.

So I thank you grandma, for forging the path. For my mom who is stronger than she thinks. For the latinas and women in general who have come before me. Thank you for the choices that I now have.