Papa was a rolling stone...

Sometimes I feel like I'm a negative ball of energy, spiraling through the lives of people who love me and whom I love.

Perhaps, a chameleon like rubber ball bouncing itself against the cold hard walls, hoping each time that the rock solid walls will bend themselves just a little for me, so I might be able to feel what it is like to be held by them.

But walls don't bend to rubber balls and I sit in the sun, letting its searing rays wear my elasticity down. I could roll away - down a path that had fought to be laid for me. And yet I look up to a a knobbly hill that grew itself into a mountain everyday, just to spite me or so I would believe.

The trouble with being so absorbent and pliable is that you take on the values of everything that touches you, catches your attention and seduces your inner critics. Soon, you are a conflicting enigma of diversions, each one calling the other one a square peg in the circle of life.

Hurt by Johnny Cash