December 2006 Archives

1. Purple Stain - The Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Classic Red Hot Chilli Peppers. "To finger paint is not a sin"

2. Let it Be - The Beatles
Loving The Beatles alot lately.

3. Rebel Rebel - Seu Jorge (Sound Track - The Life with Aquatic with Steve Zissou)
very folksy.

4. All I Want for Christmas -Tessa Niles (Love Actually Soundtrack)
I would have hated this a few days ago but I love the movie Love Actually so, I can't say anything.

5. Diamond in the back - Ludacris
Never thought I'd like Ludacris as an artist till I heard this.
"My family's strugglin', I'm buggin', sittin' on my porch -So confused, chewin' on some bubblegum"

6. Memories and Lies - Hour Cast (From the compilation CD "For the Lady" in tribute of DASSK)
I don't know who they are but I appreciate them.
"Memories and Lies - keeping me blind" --> classic.

7. She Loves You - The Beatles
"She said she loves you, and you know you should be glad!" OOH!

8. 5 O'clock in the Morning - The Donnas.
I love Girl Rock! "it's not a party till we start playing!"

9. Thug in Me, Thug in You - TuPac
brings back memories of the California sun and my friends. Aww, I miss them.

10. Circle of Friends - Better than Ezra (Empire Records Soundtrack)
"I am not what you think I should be" - explains most of the movie.
"I don't have to explain my art to you, Warren!"

Blue taxi on Orchard Road

It seems as though it's been raining forever now. I used to love rain, I used to love listening to it and everything - but I think I can only love something with all my heart when it's not there in my face, 24/7 - ALL the time. The rain, however, has chosen to be ever present around my life in Singapore.

I can't get a cab to go home at night because everyone wants one.
Meanwhile, I get drenched waiting for a cab or walking home from the bus stop or train station. No, umbrellas do not help when the wind is blowing and it rains sideways (haha)!
I can't hang my clothes out to dry.
I cannot leave the house without bringing a brolly (gosh, I hate extra weight in my bag).
I cannot wear fab shoes because they will get ruined (the rain already ruined my Birkenstocks)
I've stopped wearing long pants because they also get ruined.
And can anyone believe it's actually cold in Singapore?
I got up the other night to find a thicker blanket because I was cold (!).
And for some reasons, malls, offices, buses and trains in Singapore do not care that it's raining and still do not turn the thermostat up - making the interiors extra cold when you are kind of soaked - I sometimes wonder if that is done so that when we do die from pneumonia from all the rain and cold, they can preserve our bodies.

Then, my friend in Boston tells me it's the warmest Winter he has ever had (he also told me that Singapore will be one of the firsts to probably sink due to the high water levels at some point - Thanks Kris, now I feel secure :p ). The world has gone Loco. Al Gore is right - we need to do something about this global warming. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure what the Aztecs predicted (that the world will end by 2012 - or rather, everything will be wiped out so everyone will have to start anew - kinda like the ice age, you know) will come true.

Oh, and how do people live in Alaska or Norway where there is no sun for like 6 months straight? Because it's pretty depressing, not seeing the sun on most days for about a month.

I know, I'm whining - but I can't go outside - it's raining!!!

RED HOT CHILLI - just like how I feel

I'm back! I know it wasn't even 2007 yet and I'm back already! It's hard to keep myself away from something I enjoy. But sacrifices were made so that I could better myself.

Did the metamorphosis happen - from - not so good to great?
I'm afraid not.

But did I try very hard for that metamorphosis to happen?
YES! With everything I had, I tried. SO I guess I get a B for Effort.
and F for Failed Health.

I am a juggler everyday. I set 2 alarm clocks and I have to write down the names of all the medicines and herbs that I am supposed to be taking and I check them off as I swallow them. You see, when you are being treated by a Western doctor, a Traditional Burmese doctor, and from your own treatment from the Natural Health Bible, you got to get the timing just right.

No western medicine to go within eastern medicine in a 2 hour time frames. Eastern medicines and herbs do play well but I try to take them at different times in the day anyway, just to be safe. And some kinds of Western medicines don't play well with other kinds, so I have to time them apart by at least 3 hours.

And there is also the thing where I’m not supposed to be exercising to let my body rest to recover from 1 condition but that I need to exercise to recover from another condition. The irony does not escape me but if they thought it would bring me down, they are wrong. I do enough exercise – not to piss of one condition and to please the other one just enough.

Have I lost you in a dizzying array of a boring story that is my life, yet?

And I do have to give myself props for managing to come out of the funk a little. I mean, it's not fun when the things that are wrong with you causes you to be anxious, cry, and worse, get angry at yourself and I have to tame the demons one at a time and I have actually come on top of them a bit better - not so much damage as the last time it happened.

SO in the end, I had to postpone my travel plans and I will only be leaving at the half of 2007 then, back to the LA LA LAND – where even crazier ppl reside.

But like Pema Chodron once said about enlightenment: “we’re all one blink of an eye away from being full awake”.

I’m still several blinks to being fully awake but with each blink, it is getting somewhat clearer.

It’s sort of a pity that since young, we are brought up in a way where we are told it’s ok to want things and expect to get things from your parents because you’ve been a good kid.

And when you become an adult and even though you are good, bad things still happen to you and this curve ball that you’ve been thrown, you can’t get around it. You ask yourself WHY. WHY can’t life be easy when I’m being good?

But no one ever said goodness or kindness in heart will prevent bad things from happening to you or that just because you are good, you will get a break and stop being sick, stop your father from dying, or get that promotion you so desired.

NO. So what are you going to do? You are just going to keep on keeping on… because you can only take care of yourself to your best abilities – and what ever else demons that are out there to trip you to make you fall – be it bad karma, bad luck, bad timing, bad infections, bad bosses, bad boyfriends, they are going to have to be dealt with one at a time, even if they arrive in the same night.

It’s kind of exhilarating when you finally stop asking the “Why Me” question constantly. I mean, Why not me? What makes me so special that I should be excused from this?

And when you just accept it and learn to deal with it, it’s much easier spiritual wise, because you are already in so much pain from the attacks on your physical life.

I’ve went on too much about it. I finally feel able to write these things down because of the acceptance I’ve made, so I’m glad.

I hope you readers had a wonderful X’mas and that your new year will be even better!