Lessons I learnt from the Burmese Government

How to be a Dictator:

1) Always control the media first if you are going to want to control the masses.

2) Keep the information to youself. Any information. Close schools if neccessary, as long as information is not being leaked out to your people.

3) Look really prosperous and healthy in front of your poor people when you are giving them food and televise it so it looks like you are a good person.

4) Burn loads of heroin on TV and say you are trying to help the ethnic groups. Don't tell anyone you actually profit from it.

5) Who cares about the environment? Cut down all the precious Burmese trees because Teak brings in money, baby.

6) Make your country's people be mad at the foreigners. Tell them lies about them. So they don't want to leave.

7) don't give them passports. Ever. But do take their money when they appy for it and string them along saying they will eventually get one.

8) send your offsprings to the best schools in the world. when they come back with a medley of drugs, hug them because, now you can make them right here in the country. Watch out South America.

9) Say youa releasing the poor defenseless woman who loves her country over and over again and then keep her in custody anyway, because you can. Keep her in custody, even though her husband is dying. Keep her in custody, even though she doesn't want to harm anyone. Keep her in custody- that'll show everyone who's boss.

10) Put tanks on street corners everywhere. Green = terror.

11) Cut off the phone lines, cable line, transmission lines when there is a mishap. This will prevent foreign journalists from coming in the country.

12) Encourage the black market. Then arrest and torture people who are not your friends, who happen to be shopping in the black market.

13) Encourage the sex trade in the Thailand border. Why, that doesn't affect you anyway.

14) Make young people say really stupid mundane things as their national anthem in class. Repetition will only enforce it into their heads and one day, they will start to believe it.

15) Make people who manage to leave the country pay hefty taxes and fines to come back into the country. They deserve to for abandoning the country.

16) Just arrest people if they come under suspicion. it's just easier.

17) Encourage the Customs to open all mail and take anything valuable. People who leave the country shouldn't be allowed to communicate with their loved ones.

18) Show really awful things happening in other countries ocasionally so that your people will think things are better in the country.

19) Alternate giving electricity to the people on odd days at odd hours. Make them have to beg for electricity and running water. Except those who are your friends.

20) Cut off communication with the rest of the world.

I'm sick with worry. I can't reach anyone in Burma.