it's so hard to say good bye

When I was in third grade, or perhaps the fourth grade, I don't remember, we had to draw maps of Burma. Yeah, it was still called Burma to the rest of the world and to us, it was Myanmar Nai Gan.
We also had to draw maps of other countries and learn the names of them - mostly our neighbors and big countries like the United States of America.
I remember thinking I loved the way Burma is shaped. It was so god damn hard to draw because it had a million mountain tops and sharp ends. But I loved the way it was shaped. I dunno, I guess it was just patriotic fervor at eight years old.

So, when I first got my google alert claiming that the Shan State in North Eastern Burma was claiming self independence from the crule Burmese Military government, my first childish thoughts were "But the shape of the country won't be the same, it will look deformed."

I've only been to the Shan state once. the Burmese language is kind of funny in the way that certain words used to describe another state in the country (for example, by using the word "Pyi", we'll say "Shan Pyi" to mean Shan State but we can also say "Ta Yuat Pyi" to say China. So that makes certain states feel like they don't belong in Burma and usually refers to the south of burma , where the capital is to be the Burmese Country.

Of course, this is also due to the fact that the ethnic minorities in other states are raped, tortured and killed every day by the military government.

So it's not surprising that they want to leave. Plenty of Burmese people want the military government to go. I mean, i don't live in Burma anymore and the military government still affects me: 1) I can't see my family anytime I want to, in fact, I haven't seen them in 5 years. 2) I can't travel anywhere I want to because most countries are mad at the Burmese governemnt. 3) I get patted down, brought into special interview rooms for lengthy questioning and treated like a half way idiot -who wants nothing more than to to stay illegally in their country and steal their jobs -at airports because i carry a Burmese passport. 4) I can't send them any gifts because it gets stolen by the customs. 5) it costs a heck of a lot to make a call to Burma. 6) I have to pay hefty taxes in the United States and in Burma. 7) I have to bribe the customs everytime I land in burma. 8) I have to bribe the customs so I can leave Burma.
and so on..
And no, it's not as bad as some other countries have it. I'm sure it's not and I know that.

But I don't want the Shan State to be independent. Maybe it's the "abandoned complex" I've gained since I left Burma but I feel abandoned by them.
I know they have been trying to gain independence for years since the Bristish left but I thought we were a country. I thought we were in this shit together, you know.... what about Daw Aung San Suu Kyi- the lady who has been under house arrest since 1988? huh? Are you just going ot leave her? Why not bring this whole country to independence? why just the Shan?

And besides, who else, besides the son of the first Burmese President is involved in this? Shan is a very wealthy state compared to the rest of the country because of its wealth in gemstones and in its millions of poppy plantations grown by rebel armies and Burmese governments and chinese armies and the list goes on...

And this might mean more war in Burma. many people don't think there's been war in burma, but trust me, there are battles fought there everyday, not that you, or me, or the kids in the capital of Burma, who has money knows about it. and this might mean a lot of other impending things that make me afraid.

I guess, if you must go, you have to go... I mean, who am I to ask you to stay under this horrible government? After all, I m not really living there anymore, am I? Maybe I'm imposing my issues on you and it'll be nice, maybe, to visit a country where people can speak Burmese - that is if they haven't banned anyone from speaking it- but really, that whole feeling abandoned thing, it's coming back again...

I'll miss your gorgeous lakes, yor talented people who row boats with their feet, delicious foods, beautiful people and that chunk of land that I'll miss drawing if I ever draw a map of Burma again.

Myanmar: Self-declared "Shan government" seeks recognition
http://www.reliefweb.int/rw/RWB.NSF/db900SID/VBOL-6BVBGS?OpenDocument