Choices

Once upon a time, there was this man... he believed that a lot of people had problems, because they simply made bad choices, that they made stupid choices, and that all problems that people had would go away if people simply made smart choices.

Then there was this woman who, similar to the above man, also thought that people simply made stupid decisions and thought that her problems, however minute, were worse than other people's in worse situations because she was not used to handling tough situations. Then when she heard other people's problems, she thought that simple answers would just answer it. Sometimes I think she said this so that everyone can move on and talk about her problems instead.

I think about these 2 people sometimes- i hear their thoughts in my head when I'm faced with decisions that I have to make and oh, believe me, I'm constantly faced with decisions.

But you have to understand that the 2 people mentioned above, they have little or no experience in deciding things for themselves - all their lives, decisions have been made for them, problems have been solved for them and money has been provided for them.

It's not like I've had to beg for money like some people, it's not like that at all. I have had the money provided for me and the guidance that's been given to me. But sometimes, because I am born in a certain country, born a certain way, born to a certain set of circumstances, smart choices are not a luxury that I have.

Often, I've had to crawl though a door because I simply couldn't walk through one. and sometimes, I've gritted my teeth and done what's wrong because well, I couldn't afford to do the right thing.

You know, it's not a pity blog, it's not, oh, "woe is me" type of blog. I just know that there are people out there who truly understand what I'm saying because they've been in situations that I've been in.

I guess there are the fighters who clear paths in the forest so they can walk on it and people can follow. Then there are people who are just given paths to work on and they do not see the pain or the trouble of having to clear a thousand trees.

And I'm about to risk something pretty big so I can get on with my life, I'm about to risk pretty much everything that's familiarto me so that I can have a life that I think I deserve, that I know will let me be someone I've become.

I dont' know if this is a smart decision or the right decision. And I can't think of what those 2 people I mentioned above would say to me or if they would shake their heads or make falsely sympathetic noises.

Sometimes, you have to block out those people and just focus on what you know is best and right for you. Even if they don't see it that way. Sometimes, you have to crawl through a door so you can reach for what you need.