March 2005 Archives

Since I walk by fire -
most often in the midst of desires,
Since I trudge slowly past the icicles,
most slowly by their gripping claws.

I can't seem to break away.
everyday, I wonder if I'll feel more pain.

I can't leave.
they'd say I'm too weak.

I'm always afraid
I'd fulfill their fantasies.

and at night
I roll between fire and ice

and I'm so sick of whining!
I'm so sick of whining!

I can't leave-
and I can't breathe this smoke in
much longer.

and there's no where to go
I keep thinking come monday everything will be
set to go.

Mondays always lie,
Mondays always hold promises
but Mondays always lie to my face.

And the time is ticking away
it's like trying to hold sand in my hands
it don't wait for no man.

I try to see if i could be
with the ones that knew me
a few decades ago
oh god, it's nearly 2 decades ago
but they say you can't leave.
you need to be stronger, you can't leave

and I'm afraid they'll think I'm weak.
I'm afraid that I'm too weak.

and i'm sitting still
like a butterfly in a glass jar
rolling in between ice and fire.
I'm sitting still right here.

Thoughts flutter through my head
like bullets on butterfly wings.
I'm always afraid -
that you might hear my yearnings.

I swallow my thoughts,
they rarely come out screaming.
Then I lie in bed,
paralyzed by my ambitions.

I can't start a poem
without the word I in it.
I'm so obsessed
even I can see that I need to breathe
regularly.

Yet I hold my breath,
Hoping the rabbit would lead me someplace safe.
It's my fault, really.
No one said I should jump in the hole with it.

The scar tissue is so thick
even I can't feel what goes past it.
I'd like to keep it that way,
fear works well in certain situations.

Wrap your head around this little thread
I hold onto.
Its held my weight since day three eight four Oh.
Should I have more faith in it,
knowing it to be true but old too?

Riddle me this and ridde me that -
why does the little girl hold onto the thread?

The Goddess of Ice and Hope. You are a creative
wonder. Always calm and collected, you hold the
awe of many people and you are exceptionally
logical. You are an inspirational beauty.

Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

LOL. I took a quiz and apparently I'm the Goddess of Ice and Hope. Sounds weird, doesn't it? You don't expect an icy goddess to be full of hope. Or maybe she's icy because she's not wearing much!
The Goddess needs to wear some clothes!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And I can hardly contain my excitement about the movie Sin City that is due out on April 1st. It's dark, mysterious, bloody and looks grimy. Sounds Perfect!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh and can you believe that Easter is here and I have not had a marshmallow peep? (I can hear Jackie going Ewwww) I have not had the Mini Cadbury Eggs either.
I've been wayyy too busy and haven't had time to buy them or enjoy them.

Yummy Peeps

Best Product Cadbury makes - mini Eggs

Can't wait till Monday when all the candy will be half price.
LOL
I better be careful. I think I have a cavity already.

Happy Easter Weekend Everyone.

One of the main studios at Record Plant Studios in Hollywood, CA.

i love being behind the scenes and yesterday I was behing the scenes for, what felt like part of music history to me: a recording session of one of the clients that I handle publicity for.

the music was tight, the atmosphere was chill and the speakers were bumping to music. The music was so good, I felt like it was already a hit song being played on the radio. I loved it.

I think that is one of the reasons I lke being a publicist: I can go behind the scenes. I dont' care about being on camera, as long as I know what's going down!!

Anyway, check out the photo, see all those buttons? I had to restrain myself from going "ooh, what does this button do?, what about this one?"
lol

I've been under a drak cloud recently and I was unable to snap out of it due to certain circumstances.

But I think I'm making progress, coming back, I think there is feeling in my fingers and toes again..