do you good, change wil...

If you listen to what the astrologers have to say after reading my palm and what all my sun sign, moon rising and Chinese zodiac predictions say, one thing is consistent for sure: my life is full of changes.
I know, life in general is full of changes. But while change grows on people and happens to them over time, change walks with me, holds my hand while I'm driving and knocks on my door during late night hours and drops me off in unfamiliar places.
i can't say that it's all change's fault. I encourage him. I call him constantly, tell him how bored I am and how i need something more, something more exciting.
But, for a girl who's lived in 3 differnt countries in 23 years and moved more than a dozen times in her life, I hate change. I mean, I love new things but I hate the feeling of being lost.
Transferring to UC Berkeley was no exception. Although I knew I needed change, especially the kind of change that would let me get a real degree and some educational experience.
And I disliked the change intensely. Change No.1: I was so sick with Thyroiditis Change No.2: everythign I had heard about UC Berkeley was absolutely false in my opinion: the much respected English Department that I was supposed to be graduating in let me down, I was simply told I could not graduate in the second major i wanted and somehow...
Anyway, I never thought I could live through it. Never thought I could graduate or find a real life in Berkeley.
However, I did!
Change took me by surprise. Shook me around and laughed in my face.
I didn't give up. I hounded the College advisors till they took my courses required for my graduation. I took bitter herbs daily till I could finally walk around without being light headed.
Then , came my very last final on Friday, May 14th. I called everyon i knew and told them howi was fnally done.
And I waited for the euphoria to hit me. Waited for the "thank the lord, i'm finally done" to wash over me.
And though glad that I am not up at crack of the dawn writing research papers, I am kind of missing college life alrady.
Now i sit back and think of all the things that I could have don differnt, done better... you know, the kind of regret that seeps in after one is faced with life changing moments such as switching from colleg student to full timworking person.
and then, i finally ralized while i was packing that..
change is always going to be there.. i'm always going to have to face it. It's not how my life's changed that matters.
It's actually how I deal with it and that I try to enjoy the present and not look back and whine about how I want the old stuff back or how I could be doing things different.
I know Oprah probably preached this constantly on her show: enjoy the present. But how many people actually can say they do just that and don't care to hang on to the past? I am just curious because I want to try it. I want to try it because my life is rather like riding in a car with no shocks that's being driven fast over several potholes. I get weary of the ride sometimes and I tend to wallow and hide in pleasant past memories and don't appreciate the present or I tend to be so caught up in past pain that I don't appreciate the present.
So there, I said it and it's on my blog so I have to try to keep up with it.. and any feedback from anyone who's got the secret of living fully in the present, please, let me know.