Yangon Thu

why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends? - Because you are annoying.

Back in the year 2004, when I was still a senior at UC Berkeley, I started blogging on a little platform called Blogger and did all my research via a search engine known as Google. Being someone who always loved to try new things, I was excited when Google Mail sent me an invitation to be one of the first users of their new Google Mail program in 2004. The main reason for my excitement being that I was able to choose my first name as a username, without having to put pesky numbers in the back, etc. I was also excited about the large storage capabilities that Google Mail offered (1GB meant my study groups, project groups can send me a thousand emails without it bouncing back, what a revolutionary tactic in Web Mail offering!).

So for a short while there, from 2004 to mostly till 2005 where I enjoyed using my short, sweet, and easy to use (insertmyname)@gmail.com. Google then launched Google Talk - much to very happy people especially in countries like Burma, where phone calls to families outside the country were expensive. I mean, you can even instant message people within your web mail. I mean, I cannot tell you how ingenious that is.

Google Talk, just like others ahead of it (i.e.:skype) enabled Burmese people to freely access the outside world, provided that they had INTERNET access (which can be relatively accessible at INTERNET cafés that are not really that expensive).

This is about the time when I received, perhaps about 30 adds to my Google mail/Google talk contact a day. The fact that my name is common in Burma and can be used to spell either male or female names (real and nick names) probably fueled to the fact. My blog might have had something to do with it too.

I, at first felt rather guilty about not letting people onto my contact list. I'm not sure why - I guess guilt has always been my great setback. I feel guilty about almost everything. But overtime, it became a burden, having to talk to total strangers who asked me the same thing over and over, most with people I have almost nothing in common with or any chemistry. I found it exhausting to keep up with.

I should mention, right about now that even though I own a blog which sometimes reveal almost too much about myself, I am also someone that can be utterly introverted when it comes to dealing with strangers. Most people only see the outside shell of me, be it be me being polite, smiling, frowning, whining, etc. Most often, my blog is just me, thinking out loud, perhaps seeking similar souls. And what you read about me on my blog, are often just one dimension of me. I find it hard to let people in, mostly because I value quality over quantity.

Don't get me wrong. When the INTERNET boom hit Singapore in 1996, I was among the many chatters who found friends online. I still talk to one of my online friends that I made then, to this day. But on this, I must insist that there is a difference. I set about in 1996 to look for people who also were looking to chat. This is different from just adding people randomly on my Google talk and drilling them about their lives, etc.

And, yes, I know, I'm sure most people don't come about just wanting to invade my life and make me feel obligated to chat. I'm just mentioning to you the side affects it has on me.

I don't even mind the nonsensical adding of people anymore. I just simply do not go online, unless a family member or a friend asks me to on Google Talk and when I do, unless I know you, you can't be on my list because that's what I decided and you can't do anything about it. And I like emailing anyway, I email on regular basis, friends, family and other bloggers I have never met. But I guess what bothers me more is the people who email me non stop - bordering on harassment.

Might I run you through a little email ethics, my dear "friends" who email me non stop?

1. Just because you know someone with the same name as me, does not mean that they have my email address. You should check with the person you are emailing first to make sure. The INTERNET is a big place. Your confidential matters can be sent to the wrong person and it could end up hurting you in the future. (I mean, you wouldn't randomly call 1800-yangonthu and expect to speak with your friend in Yangon, do you?) So, yes, before you write about your husband's infidelities, you should double check on the email address. Sometimes I get mails for people, whose names do not even resemble mine. That puzzles me even more.

2. When I politely reply and say I think you have the wrong person, I'm being nice, I don't have to do that. But please don't reply insulting me, or ask me if I know your friend's address. I mean, I don't look like the yellow pages, last I checked.

3. For people just emailing me to be my friend, I should point out about now that I'm a bitch and your friendship probably deserves to go to someone else. I'm joking, I'm not really a bitch (most times) but I will become one when you send me pornographic pictures 4 times a week. Why do you even think that I would want to talk to you because you send these pictures to every girl? (this is also where I get frustrated that I even talked to these losers in the first place, because I felt guilty about just ignoring people.) Also, I do not, repeat, do not want to read the Playboy Burmese edition, I don't care how advanced you think you are in translating from English porn speak to Burmese Porn speak.

4. OK OK, so seriously if you want to be my friend, because you just want to be friends with Burmese people outside of the country, I mean, email me nicely, tell me your dreams, your hobbies, your intellectual goals, etc. (Like penpals would do) And again, might I point out that there are various Burmese chat rooms, such as Planet Myanmar where people are looking to chat. Or leave a message on my blog or someone else's blog - that's a way that I've made many online friends in recent years. By commenting on things that I have interest in. Again, what I'm saying is that I have a hard time letting complete strangers in my life unless there is a common thread running through our veins, habits, etc.

5. Don't send me empty voice mails. Sometimes, when I get correspondence from strangers in Burma, I think, oh, maybe it's a relative and I have to listen to it, maybe it's urgent. But it's again, people just thinking it's fun to send empty voice mails. It's not fun for me to have to listen to 30 seconds more or less of static. And don't keep sending them, even when I am ignoring you. This means go away, dude. LEAVE me be.

6. STOP registering for various networking programs and other accounts online using my email address. I'm not sure if you realize this or not but the owners of these companies usually email all the information you have to the email address you said that is yours. This means that all the accounts you create, are going to end up being mine. Also, don't try to log in as me. DO you have any idea how frustrating it is to get emails from the accounts that I own, asking me if I am really sure I want to change my password? It's not your account, man, I own my name and this email address, you do not. And I will change the passwords to your accounts when I get such a mail because I will not have someone else doing whatever they want on the interweb, using my name and email address. Get your own email addresses top trying to poach mine.

That's about all that I have to say. I hope I didn't come off as this big snobbish person who doesn't want to talk to anyone. It's not that at all. I enjoy company but the company has to be of my choosing and certainly harassing me with pornography or stupid voice mails is not the way to go. I am even thinking of using another email address, something utterly non related to my name something perhaps such as irritatedinsingapore@gmail.com or iliveonaconcreteisland@gmail.com. But I love my email address and it works for both professional and personal correspondance. I don't want to have to give it up, just because of some thoughtless people in the world.

For all the people wondering why I just don't shut up and press report spam, I do. I report spam on these people all the time. These nameless, faceless strangers who flood my inbox on a weekly basis with porn, empty voice mails and invasive questions. But sometimes it doesn't work, I still get the emails. This is perhaps because they are not professional spammers (as in big spam sending companies, I don't know.) So, should I be blaming Google then? Perhaps, my woe is not that I have a common Burmese name or the fact that there are perverted people who like to harass other people but rather, could it be, Google? This would make me sad because I happen to hold Google in High regards. But what with recent press rating the lowest on privacy standards, I'm not so sure.

Ok, if that was too long a post for you, let's sum it up really quickly - stop harrasing me via email.

P.S: I'm almost afraid to post this, not wanting even more harassment but I must not let fear stop me.

P.S.S: I am not talking about the regular "penis enlargement" spams that you get. I'm talking about directed harassment of people by sending them crap knowingly.

Posted by Yangon Thu at June 13, 2007 01:24 AM