June 10, 2006
I am aware of what the rules are.... but you knew that I would run...
I know, I know... I have become that girl - the one that doesn't return phone calls or takes a long time in replying sms's and IM messages and emails - that is, if I'm online at all. But truth be told, I have been talking to only a select few friends and family members - and it's as the old adage goes: it's not you, it's me. Sometimes, I just really need some space.
Sometimes, I just need to be alone and not talk repeatedly about the thing that troubles me the most. And oh, things just seem to have escalated and I feel like I'm precariously balancing a jug of water on my head. So I need to sort myself out.
Or I don't know if I can make the effort to be really jolly and all if I were to go face everyone, see. And then there is the thing where I don't know if I can be there for some people because I'm trying so hard to be there for myself and my family right now and I don't want to do a half ass job of being supportive.
So I'm really sorry if I've been a stranger, but I'm not really sorry because I think I need this - if you get me, you understand.
And I promise I will reply to the SMS's soon.
xo